AUWEN ORANDE

film stories — guinobatan, albay | konica s1.6 | kodak ultramax400

when your mind lies to you (4)

I’m am still hungover from those teenage years. I’m on my 3rd year on my 20-something journey but not so deep down, I still feel like that 6th grader boy who can’t go on his own.

Maybe I just let time age me up and entirely forgot how to grow up.

Or maybe because I’m all too preoccupied looking at other people’s lives. It’s funny how I spent a lot of time observing people to remind myself of who I do not want to become that I forgot who I want to become.

Maybe our world around us is designed in a way to fuck up our brains in some ways. Or maybe…

Maybe I am all the things that are wrong with me.

konica s1.6 | kodak ultramax400

(arts ; 2022)

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2 — questions

Just because you can’t feel the pain doesn’t mean you are healed. That’s why I don’t think you can just proclaim one day that you are completely healed. How would you know that? Sometimes our minds can’t be trusted. Because sometimes our minds would want to believe what it wants to believe.

How would I know if I am? I can never really say, I can’t feel the pain anymore but does that mean I’m healed? or just distracted? Maybe it’s not about how you feel anymore. Maybe it’s about the choices you make and if you choose to be better every day, I think that’s a nod.

(arts ; 2021)

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AUWEN ORANDE

AUWEN ORANDE

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